PLANQUEZ:
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Q: When did Planquez first start to grow?
A: Given the right conditions i.e. warmth, moisture, space and light the pieces in a band will begin in a very short time to behave like yeast. In the case of Planquez it took from three to four days for the yeast effect to take hold.
A: Planquez is forever. It lies embedded in the sub-structure of the Membrans for eternity, occaisionally piercing the skin for brief seedage.
A: The Universe is made up of laws and physics, densely packed around a hard core of dust. This package is tied haphazardly together with cosmic string and by its very nature is prone to holes. When these holes appear they emit a constant stream of data that is interpreted by a gland in the brain known to scientists as the Manheim. To compensate for the Manheim effect –which is an overloading of the neural pathways by excessive data mass and weight in the Manheim- the brain brews a product called Sundt. This product can make humans sluggish and disillusioned and that’s why Planquez were born.
A: Planquez is cool.
A: Yes, most times.
Q: What's the best way to say Planquez?
A: We prefer to pronounce it thus: Plank-Wez
A: Four years: More than you.
Q: Can I take pieces of Planquez home with me as a souvenir?
A: Yes. Just discuss it with Planquez after a concert. Be warned however, that the Flo (aka Paul Flynn) should not be taken into your home lightly. Flos are not fully domesticated, and will need large spaces with plenty of things to occupy them. Don't leave anything fragile about! Amateur enthusiasts are advised to start off with a Ned (aka Ned Langman)- these are very easy to look after, and need little or no work. The more adventurous will prefer a Jon (aka Jon Griffin); with a little TLC, Jons will be very rewarding. Remember - a Planquez is for eternity, not for life!
Q: What does Planquez mean? Why are you called that? Where did it come from?
A: That would be telling...
A: Planquez is mostly at night. Mostly.
Q: What is the best part of Planquez?
A: That part which is below and just left of "Brampton's Expanse".
Q: Do you remember the first time?
A: No, it never took place. But it will, and in greater numbers.
A: The new Number Two.
A: You are Number Six, etc.
A: The short answer to this question unfortunately is no, that would be quite unacceptable.
Q: How can Planquez make the songs?
A: Planquez is made up of three pieces. Firstly there is the Bass-piece which is called Ned.
Operation of the Bass-piece
Bass is made of trapped air and surrounds us all through our lives. The human brain can make Bass by gathering together this trapped air and forming it into slow heavy waves known to scientists as Basstones. When a song is emerging from the whole the Bass-piece must rapidly force these Basstones into it before it is too late thus governing the trapped air and manipulating it into music. Bass wants to be captured in this way- Bass-pieces and trapped air form a kind of natural symbiosis.
The second of the pieces is the Drum-piece which is called Flo.
Operation of the Drum-piece
The Drum-piece is composed of Rhythm and Moisture, when these two elements are in harmony they can be gathered on specially tuned receptors called Doldrums or Drums. These Drums vibrate to a specific frequency transmitted by the touch of a tickling rod known as a Stick. The Rhythm that the Drum-piece emits forms Soundglue, which adheres to the song and makes it stick together.
The third of the pieces is a Combination-piece being made of guitar and voice and called Jon.
Operation of the Combination piece
Guitar is frequencies of sound audible only to the human ear, which can often be used for negative purposes. To use it in the format of song it must be balanced in indoor spaces between warmth: Satch and cut: Sass. The producer instrument [guitar] needs to be constantly fed stimulus in the form of stroking- much like a cat. The guitar must eat electricity to keep its noise alive. The Satch and the Suss then puncture the Soundglue of the song and become Parts.
Voice is an outlet of a thing called MOAM this is a substance that exists in the head just below the ears. It absorbs sounds, words, ideas and pictures and struggles to make them into sense. When it has made them into sense it sends them to the BRAIN for immediate processing. As MOAM is in frequent use it begins to fill up rapidly and needs to be emptied of all things. This is why holidays and all new external stimuli are found to be beneficial in Humans as they provide MOAM with Rhardon or fresh food. If MOAM is not cleaned regularly repetitive images and words can stain it permanently. The outpouring of MOAM and it’s analysis by the brain combine together through the voice to make words and stories that enter the song mass and provide narrative. The Combination-piece channels these two things [Guitar and voice] and melts them into a binding songwax which is then funneled into the mix.
When all of the above ingredients are mixed at a song forum this is how Planquez can make the songs.
Q: What happens to Planquez at night?
A: At night, if deprived of stimulus the Planquez pieces will sleep.
A: If you are reading this you will have already found Planquez, you can rest easy now safe in that knowledge, the ordeal is over, enjoy the rewards! Well done! Welcome home!
A: This is very important as without your support the fragile Eco-structure known as Planquez, this unique colony organism may begin to fade away and fail- your support could really make a difference, so yes, by all means support Planquez and feel proud to do so!
You can never know the the answer to this. You could one day find yourself in Planquez. You may even be in Planquez now. Only Planquez knows.
Yes. It is probable that you will see Planquez in your lifetime. Not now, not yet, but soon. In fact, you may have seen them already.
Sadly, yes. War is always inevitable in these times. But it won't harm you as long as you stick with Planquez.
Q: Is it true that they're breeding a race of "super monkeys" that will one day evolve and replace humans as the dominant species of Earth... Roswell style?
Not on our watch, motherfucker!
Q: I don't like Planquez. I seem to have arrived on this web page by mistake. How do I get out of here?
You may not like Planquez now, but you will. And one day you will even grow to love them. In the mean time, why not check these links on your way out.